a thousand times i told you
a thousand times it made no sense to say
this is what i wished for
this shroud of normalcy too simple
for the girl with kaleidoscope skin.
two years all-inclusive
vacation from reality
a thousand trips around the town of denial
on well-worn souls
until it bored even me
& my pen for writing excuses
ran out of ink.
the only one left
was the red so i wrote it all over:
this is wrong & another mistake —
scribbling heart-hurt messages until they tore through the pages,
crinkled stained & crumpled;
crushed beneath my sole.
suddenly the day came when there was nothing left
but grey cardboard & me & suddenly
the only part that shocked was how i managed to keep
my ability to stand
on these once unstable feet.