fearful of what i feel i am
pushing away
thinking about what i still have left to lose;
even in despair i feel
luckier than i deserve.
how long until these things go away
until the support that i resist to take
fades like wilted petals
accidentally plucked;
i feel accidentally fallen,
potential forgotten;
overlooked.
never enough.
last night mourning
brief glimmer of reality was too much to stand
broken-knee’d & bleeding
surrounded by pieces of my
broken self.
the ghost of me
haunts my mind like movie scripts;
my thoughts stain white carpet & grey walls &
won’t wash off.
time drops off the calender
i watch it skirt past my windows
i watch it crease & line my skin
& i wonder if i’m already gone;
settling into old shadows
swallowing defeat stings my mouth
so empty soul’d it catches in my throat
& can never escape.
dancingindarkrooms 