today i am taking it slowly;
today i am going to try
it is hard to stretch my arms from these chains you can’t see,
these tarnished weights, these broken wings,
cuffed to my ankles i pull all my yesterdays & all my undone dreams
today i am going to clean;
there’s paint in splatters all over the walls &
a glass i broke a while ago, or maybe that was me —
shattered secrets embedded in the carpet
& they’re scarring up my feet.
(but at least i found my feet now, i guess —
for a while they were getting lost)
they were
five feet in front of me
i was always running to catch up
& now they’re a thousand pounds
so today
i’m crawling
i am clinging to rememberings of a life i left behind
yet didn’t remember leaving
a life you stole from me
a life you stole
you
in the mirror i can’t be mad at you;
your eyes are too sad.
so today i told the girl in the glass
today i’m going to do it differently
i swear sometimes i can tear out these walls, these chains
this bipolar that keeps me in lock & cage
if i only focus on my feet
so i’m staring,
so i’m willing them to move, watching, waiting, forcing,
focus so closely they almost disappear in a mess of tears
they run blurry from my eyes &
i am wishing so hard i don’t even realize
the sun has sunken
& with it,
my dreams.
dancingindarkrooms 