in empty parking lots.

where’s that little piece of invincibility i’ve lost?
the part that made it
impossible to fail;
to feel failure as learning instead of
the end of the world.

used to think i kept these things
tattooed on my heart —
or so it felt —
until the day they disappeared.

of all the things i’ve become
unreported to lost&found
perhaps picked up or just kicked —

of all the things i’ve become to lose,
all the things i’ve given away
in unmarked boxes
left at the side of some road
maybe
thrown out windows of fast moving cars;

i went facefirst no feet to land
on even if i found the floor
before my face did.

breaking through.

for a moment my mind makes sense
you are truly too awesome to exist like this
to wilt away like undried flowers, petals falling
to hide your talent away in a box in some closet behind closed doors
to which there’s no key
because you’re afraid?
because you made some mistakes;
because you made a list too long to finish?
it’s a brief moment of perspective
enlightenment in the way that it provides a blink
a flash a spark a sight at the end of the tunnel
for my broken eyes.

i’m afraid
these words will disappear like ice cubes on skin
holding so tightly closed fists transforming
solid into liquid & silently escaping
between clenched finger tips..

so i repeat them
over in my head like broken records
until they blur together & cease making sense
& i feel familiar.